


Close as strangers

by marvelliz



Series: Tom Holland Oneshots [2]
Category: tom holland - Fandom
Genre: 5 Seconds of Summer - Freeform, 5SOS - Freeform, Angst, Close as Strangers, F/M, Fluff, I wrote this while sleepdeprived so it might not be so good, Long Distance Relationship, Oneshot, Songfic, hopefully a lot of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 13:26:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16430255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelliz/pseuds/marvelliz
Summary: Tom only wanted to hold you in his arms, to kiss the top of your head and love you in every way you deserved to be loved. But long distance relationships are hard. People change. Even though his love for you never will.Based on the song ‘Close as strangers’ by 5SOS





	Close as strangers

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been a while since I last updated another story! I’ve got a bit of a writer’s block, so it’s kinda hard to get some inspiration these days;) Anyway, this night at 2am I was listening to this song Close as strangers (I love it so much, please listen to it!<3) and every time I listen to it I get so many feelings and I’ve wanted to write something based on it for a long time. So this is the outcome of my nightly adrenaline rush. Sleepy me was crying when she wrote this, but sleepy me is a little bitch and cries over everything. Sleepy me is also not the best writer. Hope you enjoy it though! ~Liz

Six weeks since he’s been away.  
It felt like an eternity already.  
“Everything’s changed, Tom.” His heart broke at your cracked voice, and he imagined the tears welling up in your eyes. It killed him that he wasn’t there to comfort you. “It’s so much harder than I’d thought it would be.”  
He sniffed, quiet enough that you wouldn’t hear it, or mistake it for his rapid breathing. You didn’t need him to be crying too, even though he wanted to. He needed to be strong for you.  
“I know it is, darling. I know it is.” He inhaled deeply, trying to keep his breathing under control. “But I love you, and no distance between us will ever change that.”  
A sob on the other end of the line, which made him pause. He didn’t want this for you. He wanted to be there for you.  
“Y/N, please listen to me. I’ll be back as soon as possible, and when I’m back, I’ll never let you go again.” A tear streamed down his face, he hoped you wouldn’t hear it in his voice. “When I get home, I swear I’m gonna marry you, and I’ll never leave you again. If you want it or not.”  
A broken laugh between the sobs. He loved your laugh.  
“Promise?”  
He nodded, even though you couldn’t see him. It helped if he pretended you were here.  
“I’ll promise, Y/N.”

He hated the nights that he wasn’t able to call you. It was because of the time difference, he knew that – twelve hours was not nothing, it meant that whenever he went to bed you had just woken up. But he couldn’t help feeling guilty.  
He felt like he left you alone, although he knew you wouldn’t blame him for any of it.  
But just the thought of you lying alone at night, in a cold bed without him to keep you warm … He hated it. It made him question why he’d ever taken the job.  
“No, Tom, you should take it! It’s a big deal, and it’s only a couple months. You know we can do this!” Your expression matched your voice; forced cheerfulness. No, he knew you were happy for him getting the job. It was only the distance that made you hesitate. He didn’t blame you, because he was probably even more reluctant than you were. He knew he would love the job, but never as much as he loved you.  
“You really think we can do this?”  
A genuine smile adorned your lips now, the smile you had when he was deep in thoughts and his face was all scrunched up. You said it was cute.  
“Yes! Of course we can do this!” She took his hand. Tom loved the feeling of her small warm hand in his. “Just … See it as a test, okay? It’s a big relationship test and if we get through this, maybe I’ll think about marrying you.”  
You threw him a wink, and the love he felt for you almost made him overlook the sadness in your eyes. Almost.  
He had taken the offer. Now he wished he didn’t.

You were slipping through his fingers, it was almost painful to feel at this distance.  
It was as if you were getting further away with every day you didn’t see each other.  
He hated it.

“Maybe we were wrong. We weren’t ready.”  
“No, Y/N, don’t say that. I love you.”  
You had the good calls, the cheerful ones in which you both talked about your lives. About how nice the coffee shop around the corner had changed their interior, or how the actors he worked with were surprisingly friendly and not as stuck-up as he had expected them to be.  
But then there were the calls where you would both be out of breath, ready to give up because you just couldn’t take it no more. It hurt. He wished he could just ignore it, but he couldn’t.  
He was in physical pain just from your absence.  
“Maybe we’re wasting time, Tom.” Your voice was unexpectedly steady, but he heard the fragility underneath.  
For a moment, a short, almost insignificant moment, he was ready to agree. To give up. You were trying as hard as you could, but what if it wasn’t enough? What if this broken line wasn’t enough to keep you together?  
He didn’t want to admit it, but even your beautiful face, something he’d never had any trouble imagining before, was slipping from his mind. The traces of your jaw were blurry, your hair may or may not have been the right length – who knew, maybe you even cut it. For a second, a truly terrifying second, he even forgot which colour your eyes were.  
Maybe you were right. Maybe you both had changed so much in this time he’d been away, you were almost strangers to each other.  
Maybe it wasn’t worth fighting for.  
No.  
“I’m not giving up on you, Y/N.”  
Because if you weren’t worth fighting for, then what was?

A text message woke him up.  
Love: Babe, you won’t believe who I just saw!  
You’d attached a picture, and a big smile appeared on his face when he saw what you meant. The screen lit up with another text from you.  
Love: It’s your frog!  
The little frog was almost hidden entirely behind your hair, and your eyes were sparkling at the camera while you pointed to the little creature. You were terrible at taking selfies with the new phone you bought, and he loved you for it. Your face was way too close and the frog way too small in the image. Tom imagined you telling him that it was just your artistic freedom, a new way of photography.  
Me: Tell him I said hi!  
Maybe this was as good as you were ever gonna get.  
It wasn’t much, but it was with you.

The lights seemed to laugh at him.  
Japan. From New Zealand to Japan. His return was delayed for another few weeks filming in Japan, while you were still waiting for him in London.  
He’d called you. You got mad at him. He couldn’t blame you.  
He made a promise, now he couldn’t keep it.  
Your fight had ended hours ago, with a sleepy goodbye from you, your voice still hurt. A click when you ended the call, and only then did he let his tears flow freely.  
You knew he would always wait for you.  
Now he wondered if you would wait for him, too.  
You were running out of time, and it scared him to lose you more than anything.

The tears were the hardest. He could hear it, even over the phone.  
You just wanted this to be over.  
And if it meant you had to move on, so be it.  
You never said it out loud though, but he could hear it.  
You shouldn’t have gone. He told it himself every night. Every day. Why did he ever leave you? He wanted to go home more than anything, to take you in his arms, kiss you with every single drop of passion he had to offer. He wanted to marry you, as he had promised.  
It was too hard to stay away. He didn’t think he could do it any longer.  
His agent got mad when he asked for a few free days. Didn’t he get enough free days? He did, no arguing with that. But every few days one day off … the moment he finally got on a plane he already had to be back on set.  
It was too hard to stay away. Maybe it would be better if he just let you go.

Six months since he went away.  
Six months was a long time without seeing each other, without touching each other, feeling each other’s warmth. Everything had changed, there was no denying in that. The only thing he knew that hadn’t changed in the slightest, was his always burning, overwhelming love for you.  
He hoped you still returned that love.  
That was what he thought when he stood at your front door. Your shared front door. A small smile played on his lips when his eyes fell on the little name tag with both your names on it. Another thing that hadn’t changed.  
He hadn’t told you when he would be back. First because he wanted to surprise you, but now he was getting afraid. What if it wasn’t as it had been before?  
But he knew his love for you hadn’t changed a thing. Now he hoped your love for him was still there.  
Only one way to find out.  
Tom took a deep breath as he slipped his hand in his pocket. His fingers curled around the small metal band, and he envisioned the small stone gleaming almost as bright as your eyes did. Another breath, and he pushed the doorbell.  
He had a promise to fulfil.


End file.
